confused

After the clarification 'he' kept discussing feeling matter with me. saying dat he loved me.hurm all the wonders have been answered. he loved me actually, that was the reason why he was willing to do so many things for me. he loved me since our PTD Unggul in IKWAS. but the thing was, did he really love me? or i was just for fun? i was so afraid n confused. he could left his ex-girlfriend and so he could do the same thing to me ....i didnt want the bad experince again. being dumped...it was awful!

the continuation

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yeay! my besfren was in kl....i was really looking forward to see her. havent seen her since alang registered in USM..and also kecik...i havent seen her after our final year in uni. we were great friends. having great time together..miss y'all...so the three of us hanged out together and suddenly bumped into our long lost enemy in KLCC.hehehehe yeah.. it seems like Allah wanted to show who was on the rite side (or in other word is, we were the rite side)ehehehehe on the day my fren returned to her hometown, we went shopping in KLCC and i bought my baby 'silver swatch'. then, 'he' sent us to KLIA. actually, i didnt want to trouble 'him' but 'he' insisted to send my friend which was a very good idea that we couldnt refuse to accept.hehe otw to KLIA i kept sleeping heheheheeh hurm his deed made me think are we ordinary firends? he was willing to send my friend to KLIA which was quite far....again i kept wondering...argh just let the feeling away...

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as far as i was concerned, during this time i had moved to intengah and having english module for two weeks. hurm, i was in gamma class or in the last class...it indicated my language was quite bad. i couldnt agree more because i know how to speak but my vocab was weak coz i didnt like reading which was not so good attitude.

it was sunday and he invited me to go out with him. we went out to midval and having secret recipes which was on me. hurm i couldnt remember why i trreated him..owh yes, because he sent emi to KLIA....we chatted and suddenly he told me " if you ever heard something bad about me from e**ya or r***iq* just ignore it...or confirm back to me..."

i was so surprised. and there it goes, for the first time in our "so called" friendship we share his lovestory. yeah i did know that he had a gf and we neva tried to discuss any feeling matter coz i was still aware of the boundary. i didnt bother about it.....i always trying my best to avoid a platonic relationship.

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the next day, i received a msg from someone that i didnt know. asking me about 'him'. am i having any serious relationship with him and what knot...the moment i received the msg i smiled and laughed alone. never in my life a girl call or msg me just because of a guy. it seems like we were fighting for him. then, during the afternoon the girl called me and i clarified everything. i tolf her that me n 'him' had nothing serius. we were just fren. thats it.n i strongly believe that.

our crazy plan huhuhuuhu

i went out two weeks for out door modules: OBS & Army. it was so tiring yet exciting.i was so excited during OBS module because i managed to canoe araound Pangkor island...i never imagine that i will experience such thing.i was in the sea on a fibre..wow! my canoe partner was napi hehehe quite smaller than me...then we straight to P****A in Johore for army module. it was so tough and torturing. i really hate the facilitators who were so rough & rude but i know deep down inside they were kindhearted. its just for the sake of training but still.... torturing. i hate wearing their uniform..living in the jungle with no facilities n etc...i really miss my comfy bed n pillow ...huhuhuhuhu yeah we also celebrated our valentine in the jungle. and surprisingly, the only person who wished me happy velentine was 'him'...hurm he had a girlfriend rite? hurm...wandering....... time will tell

here i am in INTAN again. yes! i was so grateful being a PTD...dont have to live in the jungle or canoeing around the sea. eheheheh i have my own office with my own computer and aircond...dats the most important thing! i cannot work well in a hot place..fyi, sidang B was having indoor module but i couldnt recall wat was the module. yeah i went for the module as usual. my wiken was my fav time...and this wiken, he asked me out again for a movie 'casanova' and might be going to genting to spend our nite together..oops...just to pass the time not to have a one night stand. dont misunderstand ladies & gentlemen.

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hurm actually, deep down inside i refused to go out with him....it was ok to watch movie but not to go to genting...i was so scared! wat if he did something bad to me? i dont know how to drive back to kl...again i was so confused! should i go or not? i just kept quiet..didnt say a word. didnt even try to text or phone him. i kept thinking & wondering....huhuhuuhu afraid! on that nite, i chose my shirt and dressed to go out then i lied on my bed hoping that our date will be cancelled....around 9 o'clock he texted me.

hurm since i've made a promise to go out with him again for our real date then i go. having dinner in sunway and watched mid nite movie titled 'casanova' in sunway pyramid. well the movie was not bad. quite sometimes i havent watched movie...let me see, since i broke up with my ex in 2004 i guess. so pathetic!.huhuhuhu then we didnt know wat to do next .it was arond 1 am in the morning. we neither go back to our hostel nor go back to our house.

suddenly, he suggested me to go to genting. just to pass the time. hurm looking at his face, the way he treated me...i believe this guy wouldnt do bad thing to me. trying my best to have faith in him.*wink*..yeah he wouldnt do such thing..so i said "yes. i've never been to genting since i was in standard two"...then he drove to genting. i was quite excited then. hehehe....here our journey began..

we arrived safely around 2 am in the morning. then we parked our car and heading to starbucks...genting was still alive even it was 2 am in the morning...wow! i was so amazed!we had a cup of hot coffee and chit chat again...taking picture just the two of us...having great time together..sometimes, i felt like crazy doing this thing...went up to genting just to have a cup of coffee in starbucks then went down again...but then again it was fun! ahaxxx a memorable nite for us...*wink*

around 5.00 am we shoot back to kl coz we'll be having our futsal in the morning.....huhuhhuhuhuhu we have to bear with our drowsiness...then again back to our previous life as DPA students and pretending as we never know each other before....

eating n chatting all nite @ A&W

yeah he did find a way for us to date again...he asked me out before i went to OBS module. but the thing is, i havent packed my things yet...should i accept it or not? he insisted to meet me again and in the end, i agreed. we went to A&W having supper with Era & Ezri.my new friends coz i never have any chance to befriend with them before ....we stayed all nite chatting & eating....hurm how bout my things? am sleepy......but to go back to our hostel is a big No-No. huhuuhu nevermind i'll sleep all the way to Lumut. here we goes our second 'so called' date.

the finance note

owh well, the dinner went well though i have to ditch few friends on the very last minute (i've already parked my car in hartamas, just turned off the ignition when she sms'ed). my friends should have killed me but knowing that this is for the best interest, i think they should understand...heheh.

why did i take her to bangsar? it's because i was so damn blank that particular night. maybe due to the shock because she finally responded (eventhough it was because she was hungry and has no transportation at all - i don't mind that, at least i got the chance to go out with her). while driving back to INT*AN, my mind keeps on thinking of places to have dinner...uptown? no, that's D*PA spots....222? also a DP*A spots...hartamas? don't want to bring her there yet...hmm, bangsar seems nice...bangsar it was!

the so called 'date' went well, at least i didn't make a fool out of myself. try to control the composure, acting cool though deep inside my heart beating like mad :D

i need to find a way so that i can meet her again after that...with the quick wit that i had, i need to borrow her notes...ehehe!

the continuation...

ehehehehe back again to our first dinner. he fetched me up from the hostel. i was quite shy and nervous but trying to pretend. he seems didn't notice it. yeah.. i've made it. we chatted all the way as if we've known each other before.

he took me to a place. it looked familiar to me. ok, i knew this place. it was bangsar.the place i had dinner with abg najib, alan & arizal. fuh...thank god! he didn't take me to the 'high class' restaurant. hurm, tak delah high class sgt mamat nieh..senang sket nak berkawan.

we ordered our meal. me, kueatiaw goreng and him, nasi lemak (if am not mistaken). our first 'unofficial' date began. chatted and ate together. hey, he's not that bad... yeah..he's kinda friendly and i feel free to talk to him. everything went well and we were having great time together. all my false perceptions and assumptions about him dissappeared.ehehehe

after having our 1st dinner, he sent me back to the hostel and suddenly he asked for my finance note...hurm, weird!

our first dinner

oh yeah...suddenly i remembered. he kept on msging me asking this & that. on one fine friday, 27th jan 06, he invited me to have dinner with him. on that particular day, i didn't go back home as usual. i wanted to finish my HRM assign before going to OBS module. so, i decided to go back on the next day. however, i fall asleep in the evening. when i woke up, i looked at my hp. hey, there is a msg for me. oh...again, it was from him. he invited me for dinner but the msg was sent around 6.00pm while i was asleep. hurm should i have dinner with him? hurm but i was so hungry. hurm let me checked the dining hall or osmat first.

jeng..jeng..jeng.. i climbed up the hill to check the dining hall and unfortunately, it was closed. so i changed my path and went to osmat and it was closed also. hurm....

since i didn't have my own car to go out, why didn't i go out with him? hurm i didn't know him btw. i was not so close with him. blablabla... i kept thinking and starving.

after been thinking for a while, i replied his msg and he replied at once. wow! our first dinner together...hurm but i was quite nervous. is he ok? he looks like a 'town guy & high class'....what if he take me to the high class restaurant? how should i dress?huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu what should i do? i am so nervous...my mind keep wondering.